I needed time to allow my feelings to process into something coherent, and productive, hearing the 'verdict' extended to Oscar Grant's murderer, on what I percieve to be a stingingly silver platter.
Everything stopped in the air around me when I learned that Meserhle was slapped on the hand for taking the life of an innocent, despite video proof graphically presenting the cold reality of his actions. How does a copnot know', he pulled a gun instead of a taser, which either way, was completely unwarranted? I know a large portion of the water supply is fluoridated, drugging a hefty amount of us with unregulated levels of this FDA-classified poison, but how stupid do 'they' think we are? Or rather, how docile, and cowed are they counting on us to be?
The state comments of homeland-security allied (homeland-security?!) 'preparedness' against expressions of outrage, bordered on hinted-willingness to lynch the attenders of the peaceful protest of the lawless verdict, were the state given the hair of a chance. And even fully knowing that this country is built of the blood and anguish of innocents in a hall of smoke and mirrors, something went quiet within me. It was too soon after the murder-by-cop of a 7 yr old child while she slept. I couldn't process it. I spoke a bit of my peace in the dimensions of 140, but I couldn't for long, and dsisconnected to stare at the ceiling, and let my psyche protect me from what , at that moment, was impossible to stomach.
The reality, that even in the face of indisputable evidence for anyone with functional grey matter, the 'justice' system didn't care enough to punish a dishonorable, not to mention murderous officer, burned cold. Something in me seized and I was concerned at how sober my reaction was from what would normally be flames erupting.
It opened my throat for more swallowed tears, but this time, I couldn't 'react'. I couldn't say more of the same.
On the heels of the police murder of a 7 year old in our commmunity, while she slept, with all indications that a child was in the home the police shot into, unequivocally discernable as there were visible toys on the lawn, and verbal warnings of the fact, I became still.
I had to go around the place within me where words are a sanctuary, and wait outside.
I'm not accustomed to it.
I would usually rebel at walking around with a knot anger deprived of progressive action, even if that action was only raising awareness, but doing 'the usual' has only delivered the usual result. and I fear that more of the same *will* escalate into the full-on extermination of my people, given the chance.
And I wonder, in full sincerity, how anyone claiming to be human, and even further a protector of humanity can take the lives of innocents, fully knowing it is against the code they swore to uphold. Perhaps they simply do not see people of color, or even, as we've seen from quite a few taser murders, impoverished peoples of Euro descent, as people. It could very simply be the 'better-than' poison at work, that has dehumanized the world to such a hollow state of denial, suggesting the solution is rooted in celebrating commonality, and breaking down the walls of 'separate and divide',to at the very least, have honest discussion about solutions. It's an incredibly complex exercise for peoples of color still recovering from the force stripping of identity by inarguably inhuman methods, who are still seeking ways to celebrate root-identity and somehow reconcile it with integrated, and it can be asserted, compromised identity.
It seems a certainty to me that this conflict has to be resolved once and for all, as this liminal station serves only our own deaths, rather than the rebirths we've sought on a communal level for too long.
The glittering distractions of modern day buffonery will dazzle some, but the realities of our true predicament are glaring, and cannot continue to go unanswered, or worse, answered by the seeming 3 out of 100 of us willing to sign a petition, march for a cause, attend city hall meetings, create communiversities, and the like.
Organizations like @TheImpactPanel are an immensely hopeful sign, but it will take participation for these seeds of healing, and affirmed whole-identity to successfully take root.
I choose to continue to believe in our collective spirit, and even have hope for those who pretend none of this is happening, because truly, nothing happens without a reason. There is always a lesson. That wisdom goes without question. The true matter at hand, is 'What have we learned, and *when* do we apply it?'.
In a society that serves justice on a whim or by forced hand, I wonder if its true that justice can never be, on stolen land, which leads me to ask:
Note: Please excuse any typos I didn't catch with the red pen. As the pc is having issues *again*, I had to type this on the G1, which was quite the venture, but worth every bit of effort. Shine bright and asante for your patience. Equipment replacements are being arranged for August. Electronics and I have had a strange relationship. Your high thoughts are appreciated.